How to Approach the Holidays With a New Significant Other in Your Life

When you've got a new somebody in your life after breaking up with an old somebody (especially if the old somebody was around for a while and became a fixture at your family events), the introduction of your new significant other to your family -- at events like Christmas -- has the potential to be awkward, stressful and filled with potential social landmines.

Here are five tips to avoid the most common bouts of awkwardness during the holidays:

1. Keep the pressure low. Meeting the parents is still just as big a deal as it was in high school, and can hold a lot of significance in relationships. That said, Thanksgiving is a great event to extend the invitation, because it's a holiday built around sharing food, company and having a good time. Friends come, there's always the last minute random whose plans fell through and joins in the joviality and it generally has a the-more-the-merrier vibe, which all contribute to keep the pressure of "meeting the family" lower than a Sunday dinner with your extended family where your date is the only newcomer.

2. Prep your new flame. When you're in a situation where the last few family holidays included your ex, it's important to give your new amour a heads up that although your family is great and will love her/him, s/he'll probably be the object of some curiosity and to expect to be popular, based purely on the fact that s/he is new in your life. To put them at ease, give them background information (including funny stories) on each of your family members and how everyone relates to each other as well as any relevant drama they might stumble into, so they're aware of who everyone is and what's going on. If there's a topic of conversation they should avoid (for example, any deaths in the family, recent or otherwise, so that they don't ask where someone is and feel awful for bringing it up), let them know, but otherwise don't stress about what to or not to talk about -- you like your new signifiant other, and your family will too.

3. Prep your family. Suddenly showing up with someone new when you've had the same date for the last four years to all family functions is a great way to create some really awkward conversations during dinner. It's far better is to prep your family members beforehand that you'll be bringing a new date, that you're very happy with this new person, and you'd appreciate their full acceptance of them as well as any avoidance of discussion of your ex, your break-up and/or any conversations that compare your new flame to your ex over the sweet potatoes.

4. Control the conversation. Despite your prepping, your great aunt Betty asks you point blank what happened to that "nice girl/boy" who came to last year's holiday dinner. This is so awkward it will be entertaining in retrospect, but at the time, say that things didn't work out with your ex, that you're now very happy and with your current date and change the subject to something Great Aunt Betty loves to talk about, like her upcoming cruise to Mexico.

5. Smile and change the subject. After dinner and after too much Pinot Noir, your various family members open the floodgates of awkwardness with questions about everything you asked them to avoid. Try to remember that your family loves you and they just want to you be happy, and any probing and awkward questions they ask are a function of that. Control the conversation as best you can by changing the subject and asking about them and their lives. For example, let's say you and your ex used to love to go antique shopping together and it was always a great topic of conversation at previous family get-togethers. If you get an awkward question like, "Does s/he like to antique with you like [your ex's name] did?", you can reply with something like, "[Your date's name] loves to sail, and so we've been spending a lot of time doing that. Uncle Bob, I know you windsurf. Have you been out on the water much recently? It's been beautiful."

Part of moving forward and bouncing back after a break-up is dating again, and eventually, the time comes to introduce a new significant other to your family. There are bound to be some bumps along the way to fitting this new person completely in your life, because change is challenging and if your previous relationship was a long one, there can be a lot of inertia for your family to get through. However, ultimately your goal is to be happy, and if this new person makes you happy, your family will come around, even if they inadvertently make it awkward in the process. And isn't that one of the things that makes family great?

Originally published by BounceBack, LLC on www.bounceback.com, where I'm the dating expert, as well as on Yahoo! Shine.