Flying Solo = Win

Think about the last time you fell into one of those random but awesome conversations with someone: maybe it was at the coffee shop, the bookstore, at the farmer’s market or at happy hour. Chances are good that both you and the random-conversation-someone were both cruising solo (or at least were temporarily separated from your respective groups.)

This is because it’s waaaaaaaaay easier to talk to people when they’re not surrounded by a huge group of their fifteen closest friends (or even just plus one or two). And while your new crush hanging in a large group is not an insurmountable challenge, it’s a hell of lot easier to engineer a “random” conversation with them when they’re separated or are by themselves. Conversation itself is a lot less intimidating when it’s one on one, versus trying to engage two or three or ten other people at the same time, and most of us are far more comfortable with random conversation with attractive people we don’t know when there’s just one of them.

So, in the interest of making it easier for those who may want to talk to you, consider flying solo the next time you want to be out and about. Or, if that seems totally crazy, separate yourself from the peeps for a while the next time you’re out with them and give the 98% of the population who shudders at the thought of approaching a large group a chance to talk to you. Friends rock for lots of reasons, but can unfortunately act as a giant deflector shield when there’s someone cute who wants to talk to you.

Coffee shops, bookstores, farmer’s markets, happy hours, concerts, festivals — all are great places to meet cool people without deviating from your normal going-out patterns. And snagging another microbrew, latte or giving in to your truly epic need to continue the search for the perfect kumquat are all great excuses to be on your own for a bit (and make yourself available to awesome conversation with attractive people you don’t know yet).

Yours in random awesomeness, S

Originally published on the PickV.com blog (a new dating site that matches people based on music, movies and book likes and dislikes), where I am the weekly love/relationships contributor.

(Image by: John Althouse Cohen)