Friday, November 13, 2009

I don't think some of the openers used as examples in Screw Cupid would work in real life. Are you really suggesting I go up to some guy and ask him about why guys grunt in the gym?

I used the example of men grunting in the gym multiple times in Screw Cupid as a humorous tool for demonstrating how openers work, and with the hope that my readers would laugh, and then think about what they personally might want to use to initiate a neutral conversation.

The "grunting man" conversational gambit does work, but as I say in the book, it depends on the context. You wouldn't want to use a funnier, more ballsy opener like the grunting opener in a coffee shop or in your photography class, nor would you want to use it if it doesn't fit with your personality type. If you're more on the shy side, one of the examples about needing information about a nearby restaurant, or a gift, or dating advice for your friend could all be good bets.

Ultimately, Screw Cupid is about learning how to initiate conversation with the men you want to talk to (and to see if you click with them) - the opener is just the door that gets you into the conversational room. Once you're there, be yourself. By using your personality as a guide, you can find an opener that fits both you and the situation. And remember - you don't need to stress too much about that initial opening question. If you click with this guy, he'll remember way more about the conversation as a whole, rather than what you said to start talking to him.

Yours in contextual conversation,
S

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