3 Tips for Staying Positive When First Dates Go to the Dark Side

Sometimes first dates are amazing. There's amazing chemistry, amazing conversation and we end the date feeling amazingly optimistic about the future. And sometimes? Sometimes first dates get on the high-speed elevator to hell and/or crazy-town and we're left mystified, discouraged, annoyed and sad, which is not only no fun, but can put a serious damper on our enjoyment of the dating life -- and who wants that? Here are three bad-date scenarios and tips to allow us to enjoy these horrid first dates for all they're worth -- the worse the better.

1) Absolutely no chemistry. Sometimes, the spark just isn't there: maybe you don't like the way they smell. Maybe the way they eat grosses you out. Maybe you just learned something that's a deal-breaker and you know there's not a shot in hell of this ever working. To salvage some enjoyment from this date, verbally acknowledge the non-chemistry. Chances are good that if you're not feeling it, neither are they (and if they are feeling it, it's better to let them know now rather than later.) Acknowledgement removes the awkwardness of being on a bad first date, and turns the situation into a much more comfortable setting where the pressure of deciding whether or not you like each other is lifted. Talk about all the bad dates you've both been on and enjoy an hour or two of laughing about how much dating can suck. Who knows -- you might find a new friend.

2) They're completely obnoxious. Perhaps they just spent 45 minutes talking about their recent sexual conquests or maybe all they've done since meeting you is complain about everything, including you. In this situation, you can either sit back and enjoy the hilarity if someone making a complete jerk of themselves, or you can egg them on with some well chosen questions, all in the name of making the date even worse than it already is. Everyone loves a good bad-date story, and if you can push this one into epic-bad-date territory, you'll have cocktail party fodder for the next several years.

3) Things were great until the "But..." In those situations where the date appears to be in the running for Best Date Ever, and then does a 180 when they reveal the "But..." (such as "But, I'm married," "But, I'm starting a ten-year jail sentence next week," or "But, I'm fleeing the country tomorrow because I haven't paid my taxes in 15 years,"), stick around long enough to get the back-story (it's bound to be interesting), and do your best to trade in your disappointment for some real, no-social-filters conversation. Why did they go on a date if they knew they were going to be unavailable? Has it worked in the past? What were/are they looking for? Treat it like an interview and again -- be prepared to gather some major stories to share with your friends at brunch the next day.

First dates are something many of us loathe because it can be so disappointing if they go badly. However, if we can turn our perception of these bad dates into opportunities for fun stories to share with friends for years to come, or the opportunity to make a new friend (instead of finding a new lover), we can find humor, light and fun where there was only dark, heavy disappointment before. And what's the point in dwelling in the latter when every first date (no matter how bad) can potentially be turned into an enjoyable evening?

Originally published by BounceBack, LLC on www.bounceback.com, where I'm the dating expert.