As someone who wrote a book to share my mistakes (and solutions) in dating, I took an immediate liking to Lori Gottlieb, the witty and talented author of the new and highly talked about book "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough". Don't be off-put by the "settle" part of the title -- as many of her nay-sayers are -- Gottlieb's most basic message is about figuring out what makes you happy and distinguishing between what you want and what you need out of a relationship, a lesson she wishes she'd learned early on and one she successfully drives home again and again throughout the book. As she discovered through her own life and the lives of the many, many others she interviewed, that perfect significant other may not look like -- on paper and in person -- what you've pictured your whole life, and as the evidence she presents suggests, there's an excellent chance you'll end up much happier for straying from your list.
She writes from a place of complete and at times brutal honesty, baring all so the rest of us can learn and grow from her experiences rejecting many potentially wonderful (for her) men in her twenties and thirties based on factors she later realizes are ridiculous. Her advice is pragmatic, smart and presents a no-BS dose of reality that we should all take care to remember. I'm so glad someone wrote this book -- it's great advice, and Gottlieb delivers it extremely well.
Sure, the most oft-referred ideal relationship in the book is marriage, but if that's not your thing, don't worry. Gottlieb does a good job of not alienating those of us who don't want to get married. She has her views -- she's religious, and wants a traditional marriage -- but she doesn't force them on the reader. As someone who has no interest in the traditional definition of marriage and is most definitely not religious, the advice is just as sound and in my opinion, is something every one of us, male or female, can benefit from a thorough soaking in.
Diablo Cody, one of my personal idols and the Academy-Award winning screenwriter of "Juno" says this: "What Lori Gottlieb is saying isn't subversive -- it's smart. A thoroughly entertaining reality check, it will make single women laugh and squirm, and married people appreciate their spouses even more." I agree 110%. Go buy this book.
Originally published by BounceBack, LLC on www.bouncebacktolife.com, for which I am the dating expert. Check it out!
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