Screw Cupid

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53899969225113012252012-01-14T13:08:01.426-08:00Screw CupidScrew Cupid: The Sassy Girl's Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys, a dating guide by Samantha Scholfield. Dating book. Relationship advice. First date. Sex. How to talk to someone and initiate conversation. Awkward first dates.Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.comBlogger1101100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-37338993533840508492012-01-13T12:04:00.000-08:002012-01-13T12:04:08.706-08:00Self Promotion

After a little hiatus, I'm back blogging for Girl Power Hour. Here's the most recent installment, about how self-promotion is terrifying, and why we need to reign in that fear to date effectively. Enjoy! Girl Power Hour: Dating Dish | Self Promotion (Samantha Scholfield)

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-87738293798725793352011-04-11T11:20:00.000-07:002011-04-11T11:20:45.864-07:00Why Dating Is So Fun for Some and So Hard for Others

For many of us, dating is incredibly challenging and delivers some major sucker-punches to our self esteem on a regular basis. For others, it seems to be a delightful, enjoyable and anticipated pastime that doesn't seem to have any negatives. What's with this vastly varying take on dating? Why is it easier for some than others? What is this latter category of daters' secret? That secret is

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-81928682253055919612011-04-09T11:12:00.000-07:002011-04-11T11:14:32.333-07:00Dating Dish: Why Leaving the House is Fantastic for Your Dating Life

Dating Dish: Why Leaving the House is Fantastic for Your Dating Life This is the January installment of my monthly column, Dating Dish, for Girl Power Hour. Dating Dish is a monthly feature that brings you hot dating tips and sassy how tos to keep your dating life sexy. Enjoy! Why Leaving the House is Fantastic for Your Dating Life

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-82543449705495923502011-03-12T11:08:00.000-08:002011-04-11T11:14:44.725-07:00Dating Dish: Bring the Fun Back to Dating

Dating Dish: Bring the Fun Back to DatingThis is the January installment of my monthly column, Dating Dish, for Girl Power Hour. Dating Dish is a monthly feature that brings you hot dating tips and sassy how tos to keep your dating life sexy. Enjoy!Bring the Fun Back to Dating

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-49966419059993643642011-03-02T13:14:00.000-08:002011-03-07T13:21:06.039-08:00When Dating Sucks: 5 Ways to Keep It Fun

Dating can be an emotional roller-coaster that takes from nauseating depression to euphoric highs -- all in the span of a few hours -- depending on what's going on. This is exhausting. It's also typically what causes the dating burn-out that makes us want to give up and run a cat-rescue clinic out of our living room. Putting up a wall to protect ourselves from the roller-coaster would be on

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-89060978510449253042011-02-13T15:04:00.000-08:002011-03-07T13:19:44.579-08:00The NEWLY Single's Guide to Valentine's Day

For the freshly single, Valentine's Day can sting. A lot. It can seem like every card, advertisement, and plans made by happy, coupled-up friends are designed specifically to Tase our emotionally ravaged feelings and hearts. So, instead of waiting for the inevitable zap, treat this year as an opportunity to recreate V-Day into something you'll not only enjoy, but will look forward to

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-64412247684725718342011-02-11T11:45:00.000-08:002011-02-10T08:58:21.951-08:00Dating Dish: How to Rock National Single’s Awareness Day

Dating Dish: How to Rock National Single's Awareness Day This is the January installment of my monthly column, Dating Dish, for Girl Power Hour. Dating Dish is a monthly feature that brings you hot dating tips and sassy how tos to keep your dating life sexy. Enjoy!How to Rock National Single's Awareness Day

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-68984002225469501952011-01-28T14:56:00.000-08:002011-03-07T13:20:37.662-08:004 Alternative (and Awesome) Ideas for National Singles' Awareness Day

Valentine's Day isn't the coupled-up love-fest the media at large and those ever-annoying grocery and drug-store displays would have us believe. As it turns out, there are lots of un-coupled (cool) people out there. A good chunk of said people want to have a good time on Valentine's Day, feeling strongly that just because they're not currently one-half of a couple, they shouldn't be

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-69117945704395521032011-01-28T14:30:00.000-08:002011-02-03T14:56:11.007-08:00Dating Dish: What Kind of Dater Are You? (Now Change It Up.)

This is the January installment of my monthly column, Dating Dish, for Girl Power Hour. Dating Dish is a monthly feature that brings you hot dating tips and sassy how tos to keep your dating life sexy. Enjoy!What Kind of Dater Are You? (Now Change it Up.)

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-78606721847443074842011-01-13T14:42:00.000-08:002011-02-03T14:46:37.212-08:00When the Date Rocked, but the Aftermath Didn't - 5 Tips for Staying Positive When Things Don't Pan Out

We've all been there: The first date was amazing - we connected, we laughed, we tingled in "This might be it" anticipation - and then, for inexplicable reasons, things fizzled. Maybe they didn't call again, maybe there's been no further connection and things aren't progressing like we feel like they should, or maybe we discovered a deal-breaker. Whatever happened, this is a hard, and very

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-7611685919144088302011-01-07T14:35:00.000-08:002011-02-03T14:42:12.719-08:003 Tips for Staying Positive When First Dates Go to the Dark Side

Sometimes first dates are amazing. There's amazing chemistry, amazing conversation and we end the date feeling amazingly optimistic about the future. And sometimes? Sometimes first dates get on the high-speed elevator to hell and/or crazy-town and we're left mystified, discouraged, annoyed and sad, which is not only no fun, but can put a serious damper on our enjoyment of the dating life --

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-57992182753409988952010-12-21T10:54:00.000-08:002010-12-21T11:02:03.886-08:004 Ideas for the Newly Single on Surviving New Year's Eve

Ah, New Year's Eve: A night of pressure to do something cool, pressure to have someone to kiss, and pressure to have a good time. The expectations we place on ourselves to do those three things with gusto often end up making NYE into a stress-bomb of epic proportions. And besides that, what do we do when we're newly single and all we feel like doing is hiding in our apartment with our cat

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-60511833386413351912010-12-13T10:45:00.000-08:002010-12-21T10:59:02.847-08:004 Holiday Gift Exchange Landmines to Avoid in a New Relationship

Brand new romances are usually a hyperactive blend of overwhelming elation, insecurity and terrifying (what if we find something we don't like?) slash euphoric (OMG, they love that too?!) exploration of each other, especially when they're the first new thing we've had since a big relationship breakup. When you throw holiday gift exchanges into the mix, the hyperactivity can head straight

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-73095783874103974992010-12-10T10:34:00.000-08:002010-12-21T10:36:19.773-08:00Dating Dish: Dateless to the Office Holiday Party?

This is the next installment of my monthly column, Dating Dish, for Girl Power Hour. Dating Dish is a monthly feature that brings you hot dating tips and sassy how tos to keep your dating life sexy. Enjoy!Dateless to the Office Holiday Party?

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-43487886407600589662010-11-27T10:42:00.000-08:002010-12-21T10:58:16.922-08:00Dating Before Your Divorce Is Final: How to Break the News You're Not Officially Single Yet

As if getting a divorce isn't a big enough hurdle to get through, it can often take many months, even years, to finalize the paperwork. And when your paper divorce trails far behind your emotional divorce -- as in, you're dating again because you're completely over your ex, but your papers are still stuck in court -- it can create some awkward moments with your new dates. When do you tell

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-74239696712638421792010-11-12T10:32:00.000-08:002010-12-21T10:34:30.735-08:00Dating Dish: 5 First Date Awkward Bombs and How to Handle Them

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-74124780113412779912010-11-10T10:37:00.000-08:002010-12-21T11:01:17.213-08:00How to Approach the Holidays With a New Significant Other in Your Life

When you've got a new somebody in your life after breaking up with an old somebody (especially if the old somebody was around for a while and became a fixture at your family events), the introduction of your new significant other to your family -- at events like Christmas -- has the potential to be awkward, stressful and filled with potential social landmines. Here are five tips to

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-7309159702841820932010-11-08T18:58:00.000-08:002010-11-08T18:58:57.901-08:00How to Handle Awkward Questions About Your Love Life (or Lack Thereof)

When things fizzle in a relationship, there's a step after the actual parting of ways that can seem like cruel and unusual punishment: having to tell everyone that our relationship status has changed. Relaying the news to our inner circles is usually fairly painless, but if our relationship was a long one and especially if shared family holidays and work parties were involved, the post

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-29001590288048858752010-11-06T18:33:00.000-07:002010-11-08T18:39:51.322-08:005 Party Mingling Don'ts

Parties, depending on how social we're feeling on a particular day, are either something to be looked forward to and enjoyed with a "Best. Night. Ever" fervor, or are social nightmares to be dreaded and may cause psychosomatic flu-like symptoms hours before the event, keeping us (happily) contained to our couches watching re-runs of Sex and the City. No matter where we fall on this scale, we

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-13999142169043743192010-11-01T18:10:00.000-07:002010-11-08T18:16:05.028-08:00365/24/7 Halloween

Halloween is my favorite holiday, as it is for a lot of people. Besides the spooky factor, the candy and the ubiquitous availability of pumpkin lattes, it’s a night (or day, or weekend) that gives us all a pass to be anyone we want. We can show off our cleverness with a costume that makes everyone around us think “Why didn’t I think of that?” and we have full freedom to insert “Slutty” in

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-15004892204340149292010-10-30T18:21:00.000-07:002010-11-08T18:32:17.960-08:00Another 5 Don'ts for the First Date After Divorce

Divorce sucks. Even if it's ultra-friendly and mutual, it's still a situation we wouldn't wish on our most memorable high-school nemesis. There are all sorts of feelings we have to deal with afterwards: grief, frustration, low-self esteem, guilt, confusion, anger (plus about a hundred more over the course of recovery! When we're healed enough to dive back into the dating scene, a lot of those

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-42134570173213117882010-10-11T17:52:00.000-07:002010-11-08T17:57:12.433-08:00Flying Solo = Win

Think about the last time you fell into one of those random but awesome conversations with someone: maybe it was at the coffee shop, the bookstore, at the farmer’s market or at happy hour. Chances are good that both you and the random-conversation-someone were both cruising solo (or at least were temporarily separated from your respective groups.)This is because it’s waaaaaaaaay easier to

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-62392071960908666262010-10-08T10:28:00.000-07:002010-12-21T10:31:43.468-08:00Dating Dish: Don't Wait, Initiate - How to Make the First Move

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-8243763907427332392010-10-04T17:43:00.000-07:002010-11-08T17:51:38.466-08:00Why Coffee Shops Rock

I have a theory: Coffee shops may be the new bars, in terms of finding your next date. My job requires me to write for several hours a day, and so coffee shops are my office. There are lots of others who also call my office their office, both during the daylight hours and at night. My favorite coffee shop has several community tables, and conversation abounds when we get bored (which happens

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-68011093944242145032010-09-20T15:34:00.000-07:002010-09-27T15:43:23.018-07:00Anniversary Determination

For the coupled up who aren’t married, what event marks the beginning of our relationships (and the date of which determines our anniversaries)? Is it the first date? The first sexual encounter? The DTR talk ? The first “I love you” day? If you were friends or knew each other for a period of time before you actually started dating, do you count your anniversary as the day you met, especially

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-13257880502445440022010-09-10T15:52:00.000-07:002010-09-27T15:55:21.667-07:00Dating Dish: You Don't Need a Plus One to Have Fun

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-44928783602110622882010-09-10T15:44:00.000-07:002010-09-29T13:23:20.385-07:00It's National Singles' Week...and Being Single Rocks

(As published on Yahoo! Shine on September 20th, 2010.) This week is National Singles' Week, and when you're recovering from a relationship breakup, no matter if it happened two weeks or two years ago, it's really important to be single for a while and get to know this new you. Each time we have a relationship and open our hearts to someone else (freakish pinky toes and all), we grow as

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-13931378181811842882010-09-06T13:14:00.000-07:002010-09-13T13:19:44.995-07:00Friends First

When trying to figure out if those you meet online, in person and at Jimmy’s rager of a party last weekend are long-term relationship compatible, one question that I think gets overlooked in the “Definitely” vs. “Not sure” debate is whether or not you would be friends with this person if you took away the sexual component of your relationship.Do they make you laugh? Do they get you? Do you

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-31240893659082001562010-08-30T13:10:00.000-07:002010-09-13T13:14:32.874-07:00Want to meet someone? Leave the house.

A total “duh” answer, I know, so bear with me: this is one that crops up again and again even among those of us who swear we go out ALL THE TIME. Lethargy, feeling disenchanted with the whole dating scene and being just plain tired of trying, all sit securely in the “there’s no point, so why try” cheering camp. Before we know it, we’ve spent both weekend days inside our apartments —

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-70788720287437266332010-08-26T13:02:00.000-07:002010-11-08T18:27:52.258-08:005 More Don'ts for the First Date After Divorce

With the recent release of Eat, Pray, Love, a movie about bouncing back after a series of breakups, self-discovery and self-growth, many of us have started fantasizing about going to Italy, India and Indonesia as well. The story is one of finding happiness, finding yourself and then finding love -- a beautiful tale and one that I'm pretty sure we all aspire to. Somewhere along that road,

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-34341619311178790892010-08-13T14:44:00.000-07:002010-08-23T14:48:10.544-07:00Dating Dish: Seattle Does It Best – Friends First

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-45675205641077284082010-08-08T16:04:00.000-07:002010-11-08T18:28:28.345-08:005 Don'ts for the First Date After Divorce

What to expect and how to behave on that most momentous of days -- the first date after a bad breakup or a divorce -- is often a mystery. Even if the relationship didn't last that long, when the breakup is traumatic enough to negatively affect your life, it doesn't matter how long or short the relationship was. When we dive in to something deeply enough, we forget what it is to be without

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-45339017089930079412010-08-05T14:50:00.000-07:002010-08-23T14:57:06.587-07:00Happy and Tenacious Wins the Race

(I’ve been running (okay… jogging) a lot recently, so please bear with my dating-as-a-footrace metaphor.)Dating, if your goal is to find a long-term, awesome-for-you someone, isn’t a sprint-until-you-hurl situation. It’s way more a jog/run/walk ultra-marathon that will take a lot out of you in effort, but for which the end result is worth it. (Not that sprints don’t have pay-offs as well,

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-40641851253462888932010-07-28T14:57:00.000-07:002010-08-23T15:00:54.135-07:00Facebook Relationship Status = Dating Free Zone

Changing one’s Facebook relationship status seems like an innocent enough thing to do…Until you realize that you’re announcing that status of your sex life to not only your 500 closest friends (some of whom you haven’t spoken to since 4th grade), but also various judging family members, voyeuristic co-workers and “It’s complicated” exes. When you’re announcing a new relationship, the comments

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-45041275599616038832010-07-23T15:41:00.000-07:002010-08-23T16:01:25.194-07:00Interview with BounceBackToLife.com

I had the great honor and pleasure of being interviewed by Courtney Stovall, founder and CEO of BounceBack, LLC. (The interview was originally published on BounceBackToLife.com.) Enjoy! Bouncing Back With...Samantha Scholfield, BounceBack Dating Expert By BounceBack Editorial Staff with Samantha Scholfield How did you discover/realize you would be a great relationship/dating expert? Thanks

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-67524116732437628982010-07-20T16:09:00.000-07:002010-08-23T16:16:12.060-07:00Scotland on Sunday: Dating/Relationships Column

Scotland on Sunday, a newspaper serving Scotland, has asked me to do a series of columns about dating and relationships. Here is the second installment, which was published in the July 13th paper. Lifelines: Online Dating The first installment can be found here -- Lifelines: Get Back in the Dating Game. It was originally published in the June 8th paper. Enjoy!

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-2057546300927389352010-07-16T16:02:00.000-07:002010-08-23T16:04:33.565-07:005 More Ways to Fatten Up Your Personal Independence Piggy Bank

Breakups are rough -- not just on our emotions, but also on our self-esteem, our self-worth and our confidence in our ability to succeed in life and in new relationships. It's important to make sure you're as happy and healthy (both emotionally and otherwise) as possible all the time, but it's even more important right after a breakup to give your inner self a hug, and make sure you're

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-62672161980381770502010-07-12T15:07:00.000-07:002010-08-23T15:19:19.603-07:00Stoked About Getting Dumped

We all fall into one of two categories: the dumpers and the dumpees. There is some overlap, but most of us have a preference when it comes to ending a relationship, fling, or changing the status of “friends with benefits” to “just friends”. The dumpers are the people who dump before they can get dumped, or — more nicely put — they are more proactive and end something when an end is needed.

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-43039897103944911882010-07-10T14:22:00.000-07:002010-08-23T14:48:31.453-07:00Dating Dish: Grab Your Flippy-Floppies, Because Your Next Date Is On a Boat.

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-13959324517946571642010-07-05T15:19:00.000-07:002010-08-23T15:24:41.911-07:00Eff the Fear

I spent this last weekend at various parties and one very fun beer festival (as you do when the 4th creates a three-day weekend). Because I’m a dating writer and coach, the subject of dating inevitably comes up in conversation and so, much of my weekend was spent (happily) listening to the dating issues faced by both sexes. I heard lots of the normal “I never meet anyone”, “All the good

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-13110058218602978542010-07-03T15:54:00.000-07:002010-08-23T16:00:46.770-07:005 Ways to Put Some Change in Your Personal Independence Piggy Bank

A relationship breakup can take a serious toll on our self esteem and self-worth -- both of which affect how able we feel to tackle the world and live our lives. It's vital to a healthy recovery to re-build both. So while we celebrate the anniversary of our nation's independence, take some time to make sure you put some serious coinage back in your personal independence piggy bank as well.

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-9691252189973999592010-06-28T15:34:00.000-07:002010-08-23T15:35:22.284-07:00Time Efficiency

Continuing with the theme of dating multiples from last week, today I’m going to dive into a subject that only the hyper-organized multiples-dater ever even deals with: What is the maximum number of date slots available in one weekend?There are several factors to consider: How adept at schedule-keeping are you? How much free time do you want during the weekend to hang with friends, relax, etc.?

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-20555674171267138552010-06-21T15:25:00.000-07:002010-08-23T15:30:33.835-07:00How to Handle Multiples

Although dating multiple people at one time has become a much more accepted route with the popularity of online dating (and therefore the necessity of meeting each person you might have a connection with in person to see if there’s anything there), there seem to be a lot of differing opinions and questions about it: - Do you fully disclose how many dates you have this week with the

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-4305084248416743952010-06-19T15:50:00.000-07:002010-08-23T15:54:19.253-07:005 Easy-To-Plan Themed Parties to Kick Off Your Summer

Parties are fun all year round, but in the summer when we're all a little more relaxed and fun-loving, adding some sparkle to your parties with a fun theme can make a huge difference in attendance and give your crew a chance to enjoy the hell out of a Saturday night. Plus, the more enticing the party is, the more likely it is your friends will bring friends -- one or more of whom may end

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-50960830346139121862010-06-14T13:30:00.000-07:002010-08-23T14:48:55.103-07:00Dating Dish: Why Summer in Seattle is Fantastic News for Your Dating Life

The fabulous women of Girl Power Hour (a fantastic women's networking group in Seattle) have asked me to write a monthly feature for their blog called Dating Dish. I couldn't be more honored or excited to do so. Here's the first installment! Why Summer in Seattle is Fantastic News for Your Dating Life This is me in the Olympic Rainforest, enjoying the hike but looking forward to summer.

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-86598286269262452962010-06-13T13:39:00.000-07:002010-06-16T13:43:02.221-07:00Online Date Fail: How to Handle It

Sometimes — even when the chemistry online is so hot any other outcome but life-long bliss seems impossible — when you meet said online profile in person, it can be a there’s-no-way-this-would-ever-work-out disaster. This isn’t anyone’s fault. The Internet can only give us so many hints about whether or not we’ll be compatible, attracted to and/or have chemistry with someone when we meet

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-77557855683996067332010-06-11T13:12:00.000-07:002010-08-23T16:16:45.429-07:00UK promotion in "Scotland on Sunday" | Contest to win a Sassy Guide

Two things: In celebration of the UK release of Screw Cupid, titled The Sassy Girl's Guide to Picking Up Fit Guys (released on May 25th, 2010), I'm running a very un-official contest to give five copies of the UK version away. The first five to email me their worst dating story will receive a copy: sam (at) screwcupithebook (dot) com. Ready? Go. Second: Scotland on Sunday (one of Scotland's

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-83078540796068308862010-06-10T22:43:00.000-07:002010-06-10T22:43:52.220-07:005 Ways to Get Outside, Meet Your Next Date, and Have a Blast

Summer is here and if you’re recovering from a break-up, now is the perfect time to utilize the many benefits of being single in the warmest, laziest time of year. One of the easiest ways to meet new people (remembering that even if you’re not ready to date again, it’s always great to find new people to laugh with), is to take a co-ed sports class. When that class is outdoors, teaches you a

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-553169184318036052010-06-08T22:31:00.000-07:002010-06-10T22:38:34.933-07:00F$%# the “Should”

There’s so much “should” propaganda out there telling us that our dating lives should be these raging, always exciting, non-stop, somewhat drama-filled roller-coasters of emotion. It comes from ads, movies, celebrities, and closer to home, from our friends, families and occasionally the barista who makes our lattes in the morning. We end up feeling like we “should” be going out more, sending

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-49719362756375978342010-05-31T16:31:00.000-07:002010-06-02T16:34:12.552-07:00The DTR

The DTR (“Define the Relationship”): that necessary but nervous-sweat-inducing conversation that every couple must have (besides perhaps an arranged marriage). How many dates must pass before the talk? What’s the best way to do it? What if they’re not feeling the same way and the DTR causes a premature end to your (or their) live-in-the-now happiness? When to DTR: This varies from relationship

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-90324095248461271012010-05-24T15:53:00.000-07:002010-06-02T16:16:36.080-07:00Facebook Flirting 101

Facebook isn’t the college reunion it was five years ago, where privacy was tighter than a spandex leotard and you could post just about anything without fear that a picture of you pole-dancing at that one party in college would surface during a job interview ten years later. Now it’s a free-for-all, highly visible, real-time accounting of our lives — both personal and professional — that

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-37463525211863717902010-05-17T17:13:00.000-07:002010-05-17T17:15:39.117-07:00Tired of Bars? 5 Daytime Alternatives that Rock

When most of us think about “going out” with the intention of meeting our next night-o-fun/date/fling/relationship, we think of a bar. Sometimes the bar takes the form of a club with a giant dance floor and the vodka red-bull flows like water, sometimes it takes the form of a dart board/draft beer/pool table low-key meat market, and sometimes it’s populated by bitchy but smokin’ hot

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-78396609340262982010-05-11T13:41:00.000-07:002010-05-11T13:41:46.989-07:00Texting Etiquette 101

Texting: the wonderfully practical but often easily and horribly misinterpreted middle ground between the informality of email and the seriousness of a phone call, it has become the go-to way to communicate with those around us. It’s immediate (as most of us seldom stray more than three feet from our phones), it’s quick, and it’s easy.That said, texting requires a delicate hand, especially

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-39510031621155940082010-05-07T17:49:00.000-07:002010-05-07T17:49:33.886-07:00Gloria McDonald of "Secrets of Dating and Relationship Success" Radio Interview

This week, I had the great pleasure of being interviewed by the lovely and witty Gloria McDonald, host of the radio show "Secrets of Dating and Relationship Success", based in Toronto, Canada. The hour-long interview is posted here, if you want to listen to it. We talked at length about internet dating dos and don'ts, how to move on from rejection, and some of my own dating horror stories. Gloria

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-5326677638896849292010-05-03T17:19:00.000-07:002010-05-07T17:23:36.506-07:00When Your Crush is a Co-Worker...

If falling for a friend is complicated, falling for a co-worker is a step beyond that, with the if-it-doesn’t-work-out repercussions ranging from awkward staff meetings to losing your job. We can choose when to see friends, but you can’t choose when to see co-workers. They’re just there. Everyday. But, if the risk is worth it to you (in other words, this person is THE person for you), here are

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-61887553428848326502010-04-28T12:21:00.000-07:002010-04-28T12:21:55.725-07:00Escaping the “Friend” Zone

Falling for a friend is complicated, especially when that friend is a friend who frequently reminds us what a great friend we are to them, and how glad they are that we’re friends. It’s common knowledge that things could get very awkward and even end in social catastrophe if the attempt to nudge that friend from “friends” to “more-than-friends” goes badly — and nobody wants to deal with that.

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-1610486648442244852010-04-26T09:53:00.000-07:002010-04-26T09:53:13.125-07:00He Notices When I Notice. Help!

Q: I've just finished your book and I need to know how I can apply your techniques to my current situation. There is this guy at my job that I think is cute and I'm interested in but given the fact that we work together and he's kind of quiet, I'm not sure how to do the whole "non-approach" approach that you discussed throughout your book. To make matters worse, a couple of times when he got a

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-25281724297712481592010-04-22T18:09:00.000-07:002010-04-28T12:08:17.565-07:00Stand Out From The Crowd and Get a Reply

Online dating can be fun, it can blow, and it can fall somewhere in between — all depending on how often your carefully crafted emails receive replies. Here are some tips to up that percentage and make every time you log onto your dating account a positive experience.- Be honest on your profile. If you’re a grand-master King in your local LARP-ing league, shout it out. If you’re looking for

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-59444855251376183382010-04-19T17:52:00.000-07:002010-04-22T17:56:29.779-07:0010 Weekend Activities You Haven't Thought of Yet to Expand Your Horizons and Improve Your Life

After a break-up or any other sort of change in your life, how you feel about yourself is one of the things that can take the biggest pummeling. To start putting power back in your piggy bank of self-esteem, try any (or all!) of the things on this list. You get bonus points for doing something you haven't tried before or that you're slightly nervous about, because every time you successfully do

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-11028254293725174682010-04-19T10:00:00.000-07:002010-04-22T18:05:37.578-07:00The Perfect First Date Follow-Up

You’ve had the first date, and it rocked. Maybe hands were held, maybe there was a kiss, maybe there was even sex — it doesn’t matter. Bottom line, it was great and you want to see this person again.How do you go about creating the perfect follow-up so that you: - Maintain the awesome, totally chill but fun persona you had going on the first date (to prove that it wasn’t a fluke)?- Don’t seem

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-46418505792517586442010-04-16T17:45:00.000-07:002010-04-22T17:49:15.529-07:00This April, Fool Yourself Into Happiness

After break-ups, lay-offs and life's other bummer-ridden gems, pity parties have their place and can be helpful at first. However, there always comes a time when it's time to pick yourself up and blow the persistent metaphorical rain cloud out of your personal air space. But what happens if you're not actually feeling happy when you start getting the subtle signals from your inner circle that

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-19532014131066078982010-04-12T17:41:00.000-07:002010-04-22T17:44:32.653-07:005 Ways to Get Out There and Jump Into Spring

Spring is traditionally a time for falling in love. The flowers are blooming, the air gets warmer so shoulders and shapely calves are visible again after being hidden under cozy wool sweaters and jeans for months and months, and there's a certain excitement in the air. After a break-up, you may not be ready to dive back into the dating game, but you can certainly enjoy the tangential benefits

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-45426911042301570402010-04-06T14:24:00.000-07:002010-04-06T14:26:53.079-07:00Why I Love First Dates

I’ve heard the first dates equated to a job interview, described as “I’d rather be getting a root canal” and, in the opposite camp, looked forward to with the excitement of a six-year old waiting for Chrisma-Hanukkah. As a member of this latter camp, my goal is to shed some light on how first dates can be awesome instead of soul-sucking.First off, what is it about first dates that’s so dreaded?

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-37058000406339536592010-03-26T15:08:00.000-07:002010-04-22T17:51:06.245-07:005 Common Dating Mistakes You Don't Know You're Making

Dating is hard. It's also annoying, self-esteem crushing, and time-consuming. But it can also be amazing, self-confidence boosting, and simply so much fun. Dating is about more than just finding a partner - it's a good way to meet new people, work on your social interaction and communication skills, and experience new things.When you begin dating again after a relationship ends, it's very easy to

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-57770613438741180202010-03-15T15:14:00.000-07:002010-03-26T15:19:36.355-07:00Don't Throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater: Making Sure Your Next Date Isn't Based Entirely on Your Ex's Opposite

After a bad breakup, there is a natural inclination to go for the opposite of whatever personality type / habits / profession / appearance you were just dating. After all, if it didn’t work with your ex, finding someone else who shares none of their attributes seems like a good bet. As I discovered, taking this to heart can often lead to non-ideal results. I once went out with this guy who was

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-80755049275302760062010-02-22T15:12:00.000-08:002010-03-26T15:20:34.966-07:00Feeling Bummed? Put Up An Online Profile for Some No-Strings-Attached Ego-Boosting

When you’re feeling down -- either from post-breakup blues or from that persistently dark cloud that’s been haunting you lately -- it’s nice to have a pick-me-up. And it’s even better if it’s in the form of positive attention from total strangers. The normal path would be to put on your hottest outfit and go out with the girls for a night of ego-boosting free drinks and well-meaning, albeit

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-37924784984194680642010-02-09T13:20:00.000-08:002010-02-09T13:20:46.297-08:00"Marry Him" is a must read

As someone who wrote a book to share my mistakes (and solutions) in dating, I took an immediate liking to Lori Gottlieb, the witty and talented author of the new and highly talked about book "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough". Don't be off-put by the "settle" part of the title -- as many of her nay-sayers are -- Gottlieb's most basic message is about figuring out what makes

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-23264929750618839672010-02-04T14:53:00.000-08:002010-02-04T15:00:47.202-08:00What if I'm in high school?

I received an email a couple weeks ago from an enthusiastic fan, who happened to be in her second year of high school. She very astutely and aptly pointed out that many of the examples in Screw Cupid don't directly apply when you're in a situation (like high school) where you're around the same group of people everyday and who watch your every move, making opportunistic conversation with

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-8513503473093568932010-01-30T14:19:00.000-08:002010-02-03T21:51:55.438-08:00Success story with Screw Cupid as a prop!

I received an email a few days ago from a male fan who discovered Screw Cupid in his local bookstore, read it in one sitting and immediately tried out SC's techniques on a trio of attractive women browsing in the bookstore. He used Screw Cupid as a prop, and approached them:Male Fan: Hey, can I ask you guys a question?Trio of Hot Girls: Sure. What's up?Male Fan: I need to buy a present for my

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-75908180559555168582010-01-24T14:11:00.000-08:002010-02-04T10:39:37.167-08:00"Screw Cupid" Kindle Edition...

...is here!I own a Kindle and am a wholehearted convert. Coming from someone who when she moved had 40 boxes of stuff, 30 of them books, it's nice to know that I can get my fix with new titles without having to feel guilty over a tree being sacrificed for my habit.Check out Screw Cupid in Amazon's Kindle store here.Yours in eco-conscious reading,S

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-72042937915794879492010-01-14T16:59:00.000-08:002010-01-14T16:59:55.006-08:00UK Edition Release Date Announced - 5.27.10!

The official release date for the U.K. edition of Screw Cupid, titled "The Sassy Girl's Guide to Picking Up Fit Guys" is May 27, 2010! It is published by Right Way, an imprint of Constable & Robinson Ltd., and will be available in the U.K., Australia and New Zealand. You can pick up a copy on Amazon.co.uk.Yours in hot accents,S

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-23471940065963091632010-01-11T15:49:00.000-08:002010-02-16T15:50:24.635-08:00Compliments: Free Prozac

I was walking on the street a couple weeks ago, and this girl coming the other way stopped me, pointed at my shoes, said they were awesome and asked me where I got them. I shared my insider knowledge of this great local shoe place, and she and I both walked away smiling. That weekend, I was at a party and saw this girl from across the room with the best hair I've ever seen in real life. We're

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-15295989740855380412010-01-07T23:07:00.000-08:002010-01-11T15:51:00.829-08:00How do others perceive me? Grain of salt needed.

Screw Cupid in Seattle has had two meetings so far, with the third coming up tomorrow night. Thanks to all the ladies that have come so far, and for the lively discussion.One of the things that keeps coming up is the idea of perception - how others perceive us, how we perceive ourselves, and how to make those two views mix into a cohesive blend so that how we perceive ourselves matches how we

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-13750397348070441012010-01-02T15:53:00.000-08:002010-01-06T16:59:44.867-08:001/1/XX Resolutions

I've always had a mixed relationship with New Years resolutions. On the one hand, it seems silly to only re-evaluate once a year, make some goals and then inevitably forget them by March. On the other hand, there is a natural pull to take a look at your life. After all, the number at the end of the date is changing, and is a very real, very tangible reminder of the passage of time. Plus, unless

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-17593214542357913662009-12-15T16:21:00.000-08:002010-01-11T15:41:45.937-08:00Why do girls date assholes?

One of my friends on Facebook posted this as a question to the universe today, and because I hear it ALL THE TIME, I wanted to address it. My theory is that girls "date assholes" because "assholes" are typically the only guys that actively hit on them. No matter how you personally define asshole (or jerk, or whatever your favorite negative term is), the definition usually includes a large ego,

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-59419386325235288352009-12-13T16:00:00.000-08:002010-01-11T15:52:49.815-08:00What if you find yourself in a situation where there’s a time crunch—where because of the situation, you or they are not going to be where you are in 15 or 30 more seconds (like on an elevator). You really want to try to initiate a conversation, even though the encounter is so fleeting. What do you do?!

This is challenging because Screw Cupid's techniques are all based on having some time to establish a connection. So, in this situation, I saw completely go against Screw Cupid's techniques and go for it. If you see someone you REALLY want to get to know better and you only have 15 seconds, I say to pull out a business card, write your cell number on the back with a "You're hot. Call me if you're

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-84144585032806471952009-12-10T15:53:00.000-08:002010-01-11T15:54:17.151-08:00What if you see someone’s ad online, and you’re interested in them for whatever reason, BUT they don’t actually offer much factual or other info on which to base asking a neutral question. How do you pursue such a person neutrally if there’s nothing really obvious to use as the point of neutral connection?

This one is a bit tricky, since obviously you can't use Screw Cupid's techniques to the letter. I think the answer has three options. Option 1 is to make something up for why you're contacting them - you're researching a book, you're conducting an informal poll, or you're contacting different profile types to find out what works. Since they list no info, how has their response rate been? Call

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-77877297468355094692009-12-04T14:38:00.000-08:002010-01-11T15:55:04.709-08:00Neutrality - What is it?

The way I define it in Screw Cupid, i.e. in the context of initiating conversation with a guy you like, neutrality is the face you put forward and an attitude that governs your body language and words. The point of being neutral is to keep him guessing as to whether or not you're interested in him, at least initially. The logic behind this is that when Person A knows that Person B likes them (

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-73054608820849230902009-11-18T15:31:00.000-08:002010-01-11T15:56:28.099-08:00What is a "Hot Guy"?

The way I define it in Screw Cupid, a "Hot Guy" is any guy that you personally find extremely attractive. I realize that the term "hot" typically refers to the societal standard of what women - in general - find attractive, but that's not what I am going for with my Screw Cupid definition. The Screw Cupid "Hot Guy" may refer to a set of personality traits more than physical traits, or it may

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-20968899515663629052009-11-13T01:13:00.000-08:002010-01-11T15:59:57.049-08:00I don't think some of the openers used as examples in Screw Cupid would work in real life. Are you really suggesting I go up to some guy and ask him about why guys grunt in the gym?

I used the example of men grunting in the gym multiple times in Screw Cupid as a humorous tool for demonstrating how openers work, and with the hope that my readers would laugh, and then think about what they personally might want to use to initiate a neutral conversation. The "grunting man" conversational gambit does work, but as I say in the book, it depends on the context. You wouldn't want to

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-76401538711515626652009-11-09T13:18:00.000-08:002010-01-11T16:01:00.927-08:00Have you ever lived on the East Cost? People here just don't "talk" to strangers (aka hot men). It seems like your advice would work in California, but not in the big East Coast cities.

I haven't ever lived on the East Coast full-time, no, but I've definitely noticed the vibe difference between the East and West Coasts in terms of how people communicate on the street - your point is a good one. My advice is that if you're finding yourself in situations where it doesn't seem socially appropriate to strike up a conversation with someone you don't know, then I would suggest trying

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-49410542808686206132009-11-04T13:10:00.000-08:002010-01-11T16:02:13.203-08:00What's the target audience of your book? I'm in my 40s and divorced. Will this work for me?

The great thing about Screw Cupid is that it's ageless. It's geared toward any single woman - 20-80 (or older, if they're dating!). Given that I'm in my late twenties, some of my language and cultural references may indicate a younger target audience. Please don't be dissuaded by this. Screw Cupid works at any age because it teaches how to initiate conversation easily, naturally and in an

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-34076354286709077442009-11-03T13:08:00.000-08:002010-01-11T16:22:58.879-08:00Internet dating - I wish you talked about this in your book! I bought your book after reading your amazing article on JDate about internet dating. I was hungry for more information......do you have more articles on how to use your techniques/advice for internet dating?

I'm so glad you liked the internet dating section and you liked the JDate article. I'm currently working on a series of articles on internet dating, so keep an eye on my blog - screwcupid.blogspot.com or on my twitter account (twitter.com/screwcupid), for updates. If you have particular topics you'd like me to cover, please let me know and I'll address them.Yours online,S

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-79130156781099314382009-11-02T13:00:00.000-08:002010-01-11T16:04:53.181-08:00I think for introverts (like myself) your target of meeting 10 new men in one evening is unattainable, exhausting and out of the question! What do you recommend for the more introverted?

When I mention the 10 new guys a night option, I mention it only to show that's it's possible to meet this many, should you choose to. By no means am I advocating making yourself uncomfortable and exhausted trying to meet as many people as possible! If you're feeling introverted, I recommend starting out small and getting more bold as you gain confidence and comfort. For example, practice just

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-18513550748215844142009-10-29T12:51:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:05:45.339-08:00Why can’t I just say “Hi”?

Ah. My favorite question. So many people think this is the optimal way of initiating conversation with that hot someone you've had your eye on. I disagree. Here's why:Saying “Hi” forces a split second decision from the guy about whether he wants to continue the conversation, and ultimately, whether or not he wants to date you. This is because saying “Hi” is what we say when what we really mean

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-46131300877471973632009-10-28T12:59:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:06:28.163-08:00What do I do if I can tell he’s not into me?

If you sense that the conversation isn't going well, you can bail at any point. You can keep your dignity intact by just saying “Thanks for your input—that’s really helped me out.” If at any point the guy thought that you might have been hitting on him, this will completely negate that conclusion. You just left the conversation, and you wouldn't have done that if you were into him. Yours in

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-42009544243520553062009-10-27T12:47:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:09:18.792-08:00What do I do if it doesn’t work?

Sometimes it won’t work. You're learning, and mistakes will be made. The more you practice, the better you'll get. Initiating conversation will come very easily to some, and will take a lot of practice for others. In 99% of cases, it's definitely not something you can expect to just go out and do and have it flow flawlessly. So give yourself a break and try again. I can't even tell you how many

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-45723483296308273952009-10-23T12:42:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:10:24.360-08:00The thought of initiating conversation makes me feel like I'm going to puke. How do I get over this?

I hear you. The good news is that the more you do this, the less nervous you'll become and the better you'll get at it. For me, opening a Hot Guy is a very similar experience to public speaking. I get nervous and I get butterflies. I sometimes even do that nervous slight sweat thing, but once I’m in, I’m totally fine. I’ve gotten to the point now where I love the nerves—they keep me sharp and

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-63981133552623249542009-10-20T19:13:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:17:52.366-08:00Best and Worst Cities for Dating (according to The Daily Beast)

It's something every single has pondered: Are you shooting yourself in the foot by living in a particular city? Or was your choice to live in your current city a great one because of the multitudes of Hot Single Guys running around? The Daily Beast has taken it upon themselves to rank the US cities on their man-magnetness based a number of attributes - city size, education, income and gym

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-20062149617967093922009-10-20T19:04:00.001-07:002010-01-11T16:22:21.587-08:00JDate.com

Check out my first article on JDate.com! This is my first published article, and it feels like a major milestone in my journey as a writer. I'm very excited!http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2009/10/getting-a-reply-the-golden-goal-of-online-dating/Yours in published giddiness,S

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-88752439395331806662009-10-20T12:33:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:18:33.108-08:00I don’t get this whole “making up openers” thing. What advice can you give me?

When you're thinking up your own openers, remember that whatever you ask the guy needs to be something that he'll know the answer to. You cannot, for example, expect the average guy to know how awesome the new Christian Louboutin's are, or why so-and-so was on the cover AGAIN of that magazine. There are millions of things that are sex-neutral that you can bring up: dating, good local restaurants

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-6414547419790381102009-10-20T12:29:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:19:09.785-08:00I made up a poker opener: “My friends and I were arguing: does a flush beat a straight or is it the other way around?” but I can’t get it to work. What am I doing wrong?

This is maybe salvageable as an opening question, as long as you have something strong that you can lead into afterwards to continue the conversation. I'm guessing this is not happening by your comment that it's currently not working. The way it stands right now, the guy is just going to say “A flush beats a straight” or “I don’t know” and then that’s the end of your conversation. The real

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-24001059188005889642009-10-17T12:27:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:19:43.765-08:00What if I don’t like the guy I opened?

This happens. You get close enough to him to really see his true colors and he's not as cute as you thought. Or he says something that makes you internally wince and you figure out he's definitely not the guy for you. If this happens, bail on the interaction ASAP. Just say brightly “Thanks for your help on my dilemma”, (or whatever it was that you opened him with), “It was nice meeting you—bye!”

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-28512194670734638172009-10-09T12:25:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:20:13.665-08:00I made up an opener, but it didn’t work. I said “Hey - can I get your opinion on something? What do you think of Lady Gaga?”

This is nearly a good opener, but the problem is the sub-communication. Why do you care what he thinks of Lady Gaga? The sub-communication you are making here is “You look like someone I’d like to know. I’d like to know what you think of Lady Gaga”. Asking someone’s opinion is not by itself neutral. It becomes neutral when you give them a reason for wanting their opinion that has nothing to do

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-76213679157102386492009-10-05T17:13:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:21:07.598-08:00The German Copy of Screw Cupid!

Großartig! The German copies of Screw Cupid (from publisher the Egmont) arrived in the mail today. I love the cover and I'm so excited to see Screw Cupid in a different language! Now I just need to find someone who is fluent in German and can translate for me since the only thing I currently know how to say in German is "Both windows are closed."Not very useful for everyday

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-7004098888176573592009-10-04T17:29:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:23:36.894-08:00Signing at Book Soup in LA

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who came to my signing at Book Soup on Sunset Blvd. in LA this weekend, and especially my many friends and the UCLA Chi Omega girls who made me a sign. I had an absolutely wonderful time, and was very pleasantly surprised to discover that talking about Screw Cupid in front of people for 30 minutes is not the terror-fest I thought it was going to be. It

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-53328917468429694352009-10-03T12:23:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:25:20.723-08:00I have a crush on my co-worker’s friend. We’ve been introduced a couple times, but he seemed kind of quiet. Since I already know him, as an acquaintance, how do I start a conversation with him? Your advice is based purely on how to approach someone you don’t know at all.

This is not nearly as tricky as it might seem. I know what you mean about some of the openers assuming no knowledge about the Hot Guy and therefore not being the best choices for someone you’re acquainted with. However, some of the other more “I desperately have a question I need answered” based openers will work just fine. Let me show you:YOU: Hi! I think we’ve met a couple times—you’re [insert

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-85112378169571213742009-09-25T16:29:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:25:55.117-08:00Seattle Signing Update

A huge thank you to Jason at the Borders in Redmond, WA and to Danielle at the University of Washington Bookstore in the U-District. You were both an enormous pleasure to work with, and I'm so glad to have met you. Also, thank you very much to the lovely women I talked to - both in Redmond and in Seattle, and who attended my events.It was a very surreal experience signing books at a real

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-12789381537619208912009-09-22T12:21:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:27:04.487-08:00I just walked up to this guy and used one of your openers and it was really awkward. What did I do wrong?

If you just “walked up to a guy”, chances are the getting proximity part of the equation needs a little work. Just walking up to someone directly conveys interest. He knew you were interested before you even started talking, which is not neutral and therefore not what you're going for. You need a natural way to get near someone, with an obvious other reason why you are there besides him. In bars

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389996922511301225.post-79136464943401401692009-09-20T12:18:00.000-07:002010-01-11T16:29:22.035-08:00Does this only work at bars or can I do this anywhere?

I’ve focused a lot on bars and clubs because they are can be easy places to meet new people. You can go out with your friends (or by yourself), have a fun time AND potentially meet great guys. Plus, there are lots of guys all in the same place so you don’t have to spend as much time looking for them. If it's a Friday or a Saturday night, there's a good chance the guys you meet will be single.

Samantha Scholfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04731590909763886896noreply@blogger.com0